


Bad Santa

by Impiousimp



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Humor, Married Couple, Married Life, No Sex, No Smut, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:00:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28147230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Impiousimp/pseuds/Impiousimp
Summary: Jack and Sam find some sexual health items at target which amuses them.Very short drabble.Inspired when I found https://i.imgur.com/bRA5B6P.jpg <---These things at target.This is a christmas gift to all the Sam X Jack shippers.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill
Comments: 5
Kudos: 31





	Bad Santa

The red and white decor today was accented by the green white and red of consumerism. Good ole Targe boutique. Even at his age, Jack couldn’t help but have a little bit of nostalgia for Christmas shopping, and all he really had to buy for was Cassie. Whatever young adults were into these days. Of course, then there was his general shopping list, he had to restock his first aid after the past weekend when he burned himself on his grill.    
  
Yeah, December rolled around and he was still stubbornly firing up the grill. As long as snow stayed off the ground, there was no reason he could think he couldn’t. Even then.    
  
He and Sam only came in for a few things, but somehow they had managed to collect a few extra things they probably could have done without. Good thing it was Christmas. Cass was definitely going to be a happy camper.   
  
The two of them strolled down the aisle where the first aid stuff was, he grabbed a few of the basic staples like bandaids and then reached for the knee braces to see which one he’d rather shell out money for.   
  
That’s when he heard her giggle.   
  
What the hell could be so funny in the first aid aisle?   
  
His eyes scanned the shelves, landing on a row of condoms. Ah.   
  


At least until he actually saw what she was looking at.   
  
His eyes widened and she looked at him, and she turned to look at him and giggled all the more.   
  
“For crying out loud,” Jack said discreetly. “I thought this was a family company.”   
  
“Well, you know, you could certainly get started on a family this way,” Sam said with a wicked smile, setting down the technicolored vibrating feather. There were about six of them in a row, a bunch of ‘sexual health’ items.    
  
“What, do they come fully loaded now?” Jack asked her, and she stared at him before that mischiveous grin returned, paired with an eyeroll and a shake of her head, even while the look she gave him when she turned back to look at him was everything he fell in love with.    
  
He turned back to consider the shelf and checked on Sam who was back on task. The feather caught his eye again, and he grinned, waiting for his partner to turn the corner, and he moved to follow her back into the grocery section. While she wasn’t looking, he slipped it into the cart.   
  
Guess he was making the naughty list.


End file.
